When Ashley Tisdale’s viral essay about her “toxic” mom group was published on Jan. 1, online chatter swirled as to which former friends she was referring to. Now it seems fans are getting some confirmation.
While none of the potentially implicated moms have spoken out, one celebrity husband has since come to his wife’s defense. On Tuesday, Hilary Duff’s husband, Matthew Koma, shared a scathing response to Tisdale’s claims.
Tisdale, 40, penned a personal piece for The Cut, in which she recounts leaving her friend group of celebrity moms after things turned sour.
“I felt a sense of belonging. And it made me hopeful about finding the balance between fulfilling work and family life, since all these cool women were able to do it,” Tisdale wrote. “Maybe we’d be able to share our secrets to success. By the time we started getting together for playdates and got the group chat going, I was certain that I’d found my village. But over time, I began to wonder whether that was really true.”
So what, exactly, did Tisdale say in her essay? And what did Koma say in response? Yahoo is breaking down the “toxic” mom group drama.
What went down? And what did Tisdale say?
Tisdale first detailed her reasons for leaving the mom group in a separate blog post for her own website, which was published in December. But it was her piece for The Cut, in which she further explains feeling “frozen out of the group,” that went viral online. Feeling as if she’d finally found “her village,” the High School Musical alum “tried not to take things personally” when she learned that the other moms had excluded her from group hangouts. Eventually, though, the disconnect between her and the other moms became undeniable.
“I could sense a growing distance between me and the other members of the group, who seemed to not even care that I wasn’t around much,” Tisdale wrote, before referencing get-togethers she was absent from. “When everyone else attended a birthday dinner together, I was met with excuses as to why I hadn’t been invited. I still don’t get why I wasn’t at the girl hang that they all planned at my daughter’s birthday.”
For Tisdale, motherhood is reminiscent of adolescence, particularly the perils of establishing and maintaining friendships.
“Lately, I’ve been thinking about how being a new mom has emotional echoes of high school. It’s an exciting time of discovery and growth, but it’s also a time of feeling vulnerable and unsure,” Tisdale wrote.
Tisdale concluded her essay with a message for moms who may feel a similar sense of insecurity within their friend groups.
“You deserve to go through motherhood with people who actually, you know, like you,” she wrote. “And if you have to wonder if they do, here’s the hard-earned lesson I hope you’ll take to heart: It’s not the right group for you. Even if it looks like they’re having the best time on Instagram.”
What did Tisdale say to her mom group when she left?
Wanting to set a good example for her two daughters, Jupiter and Emerson, whom she has with husband Christopher French, Tisdale decided to speak up for herself — and leave a dynamic that “stopped being healthy and positive.”
“So that’s exactly what I texted to the group after being left out from yet another group hang: ‘This is too high school for me, and I don’t want to take part in it anymore.’ It didn’t exactly go over well,” Tisdale wrote.
Which celebrities are part of this alleged ‘toxic’ mom group?
While Tisdale has intentionally kept these moms anonymous, speculation has been rife with names of possible celebrity members of this group. On Instagram, for instance, Tisdale used to be featured in group photos with other celebrity mothers, including Duff, Mandy Moore and Meghan Trainor.
A representative for Tisdale, however, debunked these claims, telling TMZ that the essay wasn’t about these particular women.
Has anyone responded to Tisdale’s essay?
On Tuesday, Duff’s husband, Koma, posted a scathing Instagram story, which seemingly slammed Tisdale and her claims. Duff and Koma wedded in 2019 and are parents to daughters Banks, Mae and Townes. Koma is also the stepfather to Duff’s son, Luca, from her previous marriage.

“Read my new interview with The Cut,” Koma wrote alongside an image the news outlet used of Tisdale sitting in a chair but with his face edited onto hers. “A mom group tell all through a father’s eyes,” read Koma’s faux headline, followed by the line, “When you’re the most self obsessed tone deaf person on earth, other moms tend to shift focus to their actual toddlers.”
French, Tisdale’s husband, meanwhile, cryptically shared a post on his Instagram story on Wednesday that read, “Underrated life skill: Pausing to decide if it’s worth your energy.”
Though it’s unconfirmed, some fans believe it’s a response to Koma’s Instagram story.
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